The 2027 Queenstown Spoofing Championship
Fri, 22 Jan
|The Boatshed
On behalf of defending champion Bruce Cameron, who has now had an entire year to improve the story of how he won ... the Queenstown Gentlemen Spoofers request the pleasure of your company at the 23rd Annual Queenstown Spoofing Championships.
Time & Location
22 Jan 2027, 4:30 pm
The Boatshed, 9300/847 Frankton Road, Frankton, Queenstown 9300, New Zealand
Details & Registration
THE 23RD ANNUAL QUEENSTOWN SPOOFING CHAMPIONSHIPS
One historic railway building.
Several historic rivalries.
Absolutely no reliable witnesses.
FRIDAY 22 JANUARY 2027
THE BOATSHED, FRANKTON WATERFRONT
The Boatshed dates from the 1800s and was moved to its present location in 1936, proving that even a building can make it to Queenstown if given enough notice.
THE EVENING’S PROCEEDINGS
4.30 pm — Arrival
Old Spoofers, new Spoofers and Spoofers who continue to describe themselves as “promising.”
5.30 pm — Round One
Confidence will be abundant. Evidence will not.
6.30 pm — Repechage
A compassionate system allowing defeated men to explain that they were never properly defeated.
7.30 pm — Formal Dinner and Calcutta
An elegant meal followed by the tasteful financial trading of people who have already been drinking for three hours.
8.30 pm — Quarter-final
The field narrows and the excuses broaden.
9.00 pm — Semi-final
9.30 pm — Final and Trophy Presentation
Bruce Cameron will either retain the title or finally allow someone else to touch it.
10.00 pm — Last Drinks
From this point onward, all accounts of the final become legally unreliable.
THE DRESS CODE
Spoofers’ Blazer or Smart Casual
“Smart” and “casual” will be assessed separately, generously and without any right of appeal.
THE DAMAGE
$300 per person, payable in cash on the night.
Yes, cash. Nothing captures the dignity of championship sport quite like handing Dicko an envelope of banknotes beside a lake.
THE FOOD
Includes canapés, entrée, a fish or meat main, and a cheese board, carefully designed to sustain competitors through the dangerous middle period between Pinot Gris and Shiraz. Wine, lager, pale ale and cider will be available in quantities sufficient to ensure that, by the final, every unsuccessful Spoofer has identified the exact moment at which the tournament was stolen from him.
RSVP BY 12 JANUARY 2027
Spoofer “Dicko”
Dicko will record the acceptances. Spoofer Murray will provide unsolicited tactical analysis, retrospective certainty and several opinions that remain unaffected by the facts.