The 6th Annual Kapiti Coast Spoofing Championship 2026

The 6th Annual Kāpiti Coast Spoofing Championships returns to THE WATERFRONT, where a group of supposedly responsible adults will spend an afternoon concealing three coins and revealing absolutely everything else about themselves.

For newcomers, spoofing involves deciding how many coins a group of men are holding. It sounds simple until you discover that several competitors have spent thirty years or more getting worse at it.

Proceedings begin at 12.30pm, with the first round at 1pm, allowing half an hour for registration, refreshments and hearing about the championship someone would have won in 2017 had we actually held one then.

First-round pool winners will enjoy uninterrupted drinking and views of Kāpiti Island. First-round losers will enter the repechage, a sophisticated French system designed to ensure that even when you’ve lost, you can continue being a nuisance.

A sit-down lunch is included, giving everyone the opportunity to explain their elimination using cutlery. Finger food will precede the lunch, and competitors are reminded to finish counting their fingers before eating anything.

The entire event takes place at the Waterfront, substantially reducing the risk of losing competitors during a change of venue. Anyone who still goes missing will be presumed to have gone home to explain why the joint account is $190 lighter.

Entry is in fact $190, payable on the day, covering food and beverages until 6.30pm. At precisely 6.31pm, several men who have been demanding another round all afternoon will suddenly remember they’re driving.

Following the finals, music and dancing will commence. This is traditionally when the standard of footwork drops below the standard of arithmetic, and men who couldn’t count to twelve at lunchtime attempt to count themselves into a song.

Friends are welcome. Bring someone competitive, thirsty and capable of nursing a minor grievance for several decades. If they already have their own account of an incident involving Banko, they’ll fit straight in.

Please confirm your attendance by emailing mike.banks@xtra.co.nz. Confirmed numbers are essential for catering, seating and establishing how many people will later claim they never received the rules.

Come for the championship. Stay because you’ve told your wife it’s a knockout competition and you’re “still in”.

WTHAO

Banko